Time goes by

Tomorrow  will be a day of remembering good times. It is the anniversary of "my free to me" happy times when I married for the second time. We had a short time together as husband and wife, we had time spent together as friends  that laughed , worked, went fishing, enjoyed family and friends.So this is what I will remember. A week after our third anniversary my pal died from cancer. That is the day I really miss him the most. Time goes on. It will be 16 years that I have spent alone but not alone. I finished raising my son, married off children, became a grandmother many times , a great grand mother   also. Is there a part of this I would give up? To change anything, I do not think so, it is not ours to change, what is to be  will be.
I remember when I was  a child wondering who will love me. Then as a teenager I thought I knew what love was but common sense (in a teen?) said no and he died in an accident soon after. He has kept a place in my heart ever since. Then along came the young man I married, I thought I knew him, he was security, and I thought his dreams matched mine. We married and I soon found out what you think you know is not always reality. We stayed married, raised a family, I lost who I was somewhere along the way. After a quarter of a century. Something in me said. "Do not do this any more". I woke up and realized there is actually life outside of misery. It took time and therapy to find me. Luckily along the way I met Marce my pal , my friend. One day we were discussing a problem and when I came up with the answer he looked at me and said," How did you get so smart". It was then I started to put me back together and here I am , for better or worse all in one piece. We are tougher than we think. Loss, pain, misery might bend us, but not break us.